Hi guys, how was your week? Mine was a roller coaster of emotions. I guess motivation is a drug that should be taken daily.

The title of this post is a bit funny and unconventional I know but I figured it was high time I wrote it because I’m at a point in my life where I have decided to be shameless about my goals, what I want to do with my life and where I want to be in the nearest future. Hopefully someone would be able to relate.

Shameless (adj) ;Not feeling ashamed of behaving in a way that people do not approve of.

This is the context in which I will be using the word in today’s post.

You know it’s not just when you do something “bad” that people don’t approve of right? People might not approve of a major career change, a lifestyle change, your fashion choices, a bold decision to turn your life around for good. Sometimes it’s pure bad belé (jealousy), other times it’s because they don’t know better or they are simply projecting their own fears on you. Either way don’t! I repeat don’t let them stop you.

Over the years I have lost some opportunities because I have been too ashamed to come out and say  that I want something. For many reasons which could include people don’t see you that way, you aren’t qualified enough for it, you aren’t popular enough, you aren’t as beautiful as the other people doing it, you aren’t as smart as those people, you are wierd, you could never fit in and that would laugh or tag you as desperate or over-ambitious but what eventually happens is that you lose the opportunity to someone who isn’t necessarily “better” than you are but more confident (who has no shame going after what they want).

For example when I was still in the university I would never come out for a leadership position even if I wanted it except it was handed to me. Like people needed to see me as worthy or deserving of it and validate me. I figured that way nobody could say nothing. Lol

Well guess what? when you live your life waiting for things to be “handed” to you, you’ll get scraps or nothing at all. I mean, nobody is going to just hand over the position of President to you.

Ever experienced someone being picked over you for a position because you were too scared of rejection to apply, indicate interest or contest for? and then the person later comes to you for advise on how to do the simplest things related to that position?

It’s so annoying! Like “I should be the one doing this”!

What’s even more annoying is when a person who really doesn’t care or want something gets picked over you who wants it so badly and would do a greater job. This happened to me during my youth service year. I wanted to be president of my CDS so bad but I never said it. I was chosen as VP and the guy that was eventually picked as president when things got rough, would never pass up an opportunity to say “I never wanted this” , “I’m too busy for this” .Never!

I am not saying that everytime you go for something like a job or position you badly want or are qualfied for you’ll get it. what I’m saying and trust me on this one is that in future, the “shame” of not being picked or accepted won’t feel half as bad as the regret from not even trying.

By virtue of nature(not to brag), I always get noticed when I’m  in a group and responsibilities eventually fall on me which always makes me an active part of the team. The problem with this is that you are just sitting there and letting people decide what they think you can or can’t do. There are so many things you are great at and people can’t see it because you haven’t shown it. So don’t blame them when they pick someone else who has come out in the open (shamelessly) to actually say “I can do this”

People won’t always approve of you but don’t let that shrink you into who you are not. Instead of sitting around and expecting things to miraculously “fall on you” you should start being more vocal, intentional and shameless about the things that you want.

Stand up, come out of the crowd, say you want it, say you can do it, show them that nothing can stop you, keep pushing for it, let people laugh and say whatever they want, just keep putting yourself out there and remember that the more NOs you get the closer you are getting to your YES!

As for me I want to be an INFLUENCE in my generation! A FORCE to be reckoned with in the world’s creative space.

NOW is the time to be shameless about those goals!

Let me end with this quote…

“There are people less qualified than you, doing the things you want to do, simply because they decided to believe in themselves. Period”. – Unknown

Thanks for reading. Feel free to drop any comments or questions you might have below.

Till next time..byeeee

Hi guys, hope your week is going great? I have been putting in so much effort to be as positive and optimistic as possible about my life, my plans and goals and so far it is working. I’m content, happy and ready to take it one step at a time. After all, the joy is in the process not the destination.

I’m moved to write this blog post not because I have it all figured out but because I want to encourage someone out there who might be going through these struggles as a content creator.  While I don’t like to put myself into a box because there is so much more to me than being a content creator I sometimes refer to myself as that.

What is content creation? It is the contribution of information to any media, mostly digital media for an end-user/audience in specific contexts. (Wikipedia)

What you need to ask yourself is as a content creator what do I want to contribute to the online world?

For me, going into bogging was less about the money and more about connecting with people and making impact. Helping people become a better version of themselves by sharing my experiences and what I have learnt over the years.

When I got into blogging, entertainment and gossip blogs were all the rage because they had more traffic and made more money. That’s not me!

I started my blog in 2017, for self-expression and because of this my life has taken a whole new turn. I have been exposed to an online community full of brilliant minds most of which I follow to gain from their wealth of experiences or pick up a thing or two that would be beneficial to me and my blog. Somewhere along the line, this move started to backfire. I was struggling to put out content because I kept comparing myself to these other bloggers. I took a long break from blogging because according to me I wasn’t getting things right, my pictures were not good enough and my content needed to be tweaked a little you know to look more like theirs. I was down and even considered shutting down my blog. I had been so exposed to these people and their lives and what their own idea of blogging was that I was losing myself into the crowd.

 

I use mostly instagram to connect people with my blog and recently a lot of trends were popping up. New ways of editing pictures, organising your feed, updating your insta stories and so on, it was becoming so overwhelming and distracting me from my own ideas. I am unique and yes I want to create content for people to read and enjoy but if I have to do it like everyone else what’s the point. And while I am very open to learning in my field, I discovered that I was uninterested in learning some of those things and trying to keep up did me more harm than good.

Before these people and their techniques of doing things, I wanted to create content, I had my own ideas, but suddenly they were no good because it didn’t look like what these other bloggers were doing. I felt like I wasn’t creative at all. I was following them for inspiration but sometimes it can backfire, leading you to comparing and ultimately loosing yourself.

So I decided to go back to my drawing board, notes I had made a long time ago before I started blogging. I laughed and it made me realise how far I had deviated from the plan. People! I cannot overemphasize the importance of writing your ideas and visions down. If you aren’t used to writing please start, if you can’t keep a notebook and pen download a note app on your mobile device. I use Colour note, it is very easy to use and helps me organise my thoughts.

Later that week, I went to my instagram page and unfollowed a bunch of these bloggers and influencers. Not because I had any beef with them but for my own peace of mind. So that I could get back to doing my thing my way. Would I follow them back again? Probably, but not anytime soon.

I’m just going to be me! Whether anybody likes it or not. What’s the essence of being a creative if you can’t be unique and bring something different to the table? Even if nobody will pay me for it, I find joy in expressing myself, not channelling someone else all in the name of inspiration or trying to monetize content.

While I currently blog and run a printing and fashion business. I know that I have a whole lot more to put out there in terms of content. Looking into video content as well, your girl ain’t going no where! Hehehe

I hope you enjoyed reading? Let me know what you think in the comment section.

Till next time.

Byeeeeeeeeee!

T-shirt: @3007apparel (ON INSTAGRAM). click here to shop

Pants : @shopwande (ON INSTAGRAM). click here to shop

 

Hi guys, it’s been ages I know, I’m not even going to give any excuses even though I have tons. I’ll just promise to be more consistent on here.

 

Today’s blog post as the title implies is about feeling like a copycat. Growing up, a lot of us heard and used the word ‘copycat’. It simply means someone who adopts, copies, imitates or adopts the same behaviour or practices of someone else.

I’m talking about this because these days, in the creative space people seem to throw that word around a lot. Persons that provide products or services that are FAR from original will be quick to point out smaller or emerging persons as copycats. This is bad for creatives because it instils fear in them and affects their creativity and willingness to push out their ideas.

The thing with Ideas is that they can come up at any time. While sleeping, eating, in the shower, walking on the streets, having a conversation with your friend, basically anywhere. It might be starting a business, a blog, YouTube channel, fashion brand or even building an app. You’ll feel excited, like you finally found that thing that would change the game. You’ll start to think about how the idea might really turn out great if you dedicate your time and resources to it. After you write down your ideas you may decide to tell a friend about it and they casually tell you about someone they’ve seen do something similar or you just might stumble across that exact thing online. How many people have experienced this? I know I have. *sighs*

Whenever I have an idea I usually just Google to see if someone is already doing it or something similar and not so surprisingly I find that tons of people have had that same idea and even successfully executed it either on a small or large scale. No doubt that can take a whole chunk of your excitement and confidence. Then your idea doesn’t feel so special anymore. You start to doubt if you can be as great as the other ones you saw and the fear of being labelled a copycat creeps in, especially if the other person is more popular than you are. The voices in your head will start telling you it will never work and it’s at this stage a lot of people just discard the idea and convince themselves they never really wanted it.

So what does it mean when you have an idea that already exists? Do you go for it anyway? Does going for it regardless make you are a copycat? Does it mean you should abandon it and wait for some other idea?

GO FOR IT! Let whoever, say whatever. Remember no one is you and that your greatest strength, nobody can do it like you can. Even if we both have the same ideas our execution, creative input or process and even output cannot be the exact same As long as you have genuine passion for it, you’ll bring something different to the table.

I personally don’t know how possible it is to create an idea that is 100% original in this age and time and quite frankly constantly avoiding doing things that someone has already done is such an impossible way to live your life. It might protect you from failing, but it also holds you back from living, trying and succeeding. Lots of ideas will never see the light of day because we are avoiding stepping on toes or being called names. So if you have an idea that’s dear to your heart and you haven’t executed because someone else is doing it, you can still do it. Give your ideas a chance, you might even become more ‘successful’.

 

With that being said I also want to encourage you to be smart, but also not hasty about your ideas. If you refuse to execute an idea that you have, someone else will. There are brains, talents and people willing to do it if you don’t. The true power of an idea lies in its execution.

The world needs both your dreams and your actions. You have a different voice, perspective, and your own thoughts on any issue as just as valid and as necessary in the public conversation. Break out of fear, keep creating what you want to create and make it as public as you can.

Till next time. Byeeeeeeeee!

T-shirt scored from @3007apparel (On INSTAGRAM)

CLICK here to shop

Happy new year guys! I hope the year 2018 is off to a great start for you?

It’s the fourth day of the year already, you know what they say “time waits for no man”.

So without further ado I’ld like to get started with my goals for this year, some of which I’d be sharing in this post. As well as what to expect from wandebokinni.com this year.

In my last post here, I talked about the importance of setting goals and why you need to write them out. It’s not enough to keep your goals in your head, writing them out serves as a reminder and helps you focus on carrying out the activities needed to bring those goals to life.

Now I really wanted to get a 2018 planner, one for personal use and another for the blog and this was supposed to cost about N10,000 to N15,000. But I didn’t plan properly for it, instead I decided to improvise with an old empty diary I found at home.

I promise you that at the end of 2018 I will be sharing how you don’t need a fancy planner to write out and achieve your goals. What it takes is dedication to what you have written out.

I also talked about creating a vision board and I’ll be showing you how i created mine in my next blog post.

Moving along….

I’d start with my goals for the blog.

I’m going to put up 2 posts a week. (Thursdays and Sundays)

Expect some “how-to posts” I mean I should be able to teach my readers to do some of the things I’m good at.

I’m adding a “FASHION CATEGORY” to my blog. I’m actually more into personal style but in the spirit of evolving and exploring I’ll be sharing my take on the latest fashion trends on here. Watch out!

I will be putting out more travel related content.

I’ll be having give-aways for my blog readers.

Expect featured posts and collaborations with other bloggers

I really want to take my blog to a whole new level with exciting and engaging content for my readers.

As for personal goals,

●Spiritual growth tops the list. This year, I’m getting closer to God.

● I’m getting my dream job

● I’m starting my fashion business

● Building better relationships

●Engaging in capacity building (taking courses, reading books, attending seminars that will make me a better person)

I shared all these with you guys so that I’ld be more committed to doing them and I’ll have people to check me if I get lazy or unmotivated.

what’s your plan for 2018? Are you going to be intentional about it or are you just going to let life happen to you?

Feel free to share your thoughts or suggestions in the comment section below.

Season’s Greetings beautiful people. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas celebrations as much as I did mine? I spent mine at home with my family, cooking, eating and watching TV. I really wanted to do a Christmas look book on here but wordpress wasn’t letting me upload pictures. So I promise to do one next year.

This is the last post for this year and I’m talking about 5 things you need to do before the year 2017 runs out!

Enjoy!

1. Declutter
Most times when people see this word all they can think of is their rooms or closets. Yes, you should clean out your closet, take out damaged things or things you know you won’t need anymore. Give them out, sell or throw them away. This way you would be able to find your favourite items and create room for new ones.

However, the second aspect of decluttering I’m talking about here is decluttering your mind. Don’t harbor feelings of failure, disappointment and betrayal caused by experiences in 2017. Let go of resentments, because you can’t afford to take a heavy heart into year 2018. Accept the gift of a fresh start that 2018 brings.

2. Set goals and write them out

It could be personal goals or goals for your business. You can get a 2018 planner or any hard cover notebook and date it yourself. The most important thing is that you write them out because doing that gives life to those goals and increases the odds of achieving them.

You can also create a vision board. A vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life. The great thing about vision boards is that they help clarify your goals and keep you focused. There aren’t any specific rules, just do what works for you. I’m gonna make one for myself and show you how I go about it in another blog post.

3. Sort out your finances.
So I know the holidays got us spending money on shopping for gifts, clothes, food, and many other things. Some people even dipped into their savings (I’m not judging you) but now that the holidays are over (asides New Year’s) you need to sit down, get your accounts in order so that you’ll get a clear picture of where you are now and also be ready for your next income.

4. Reconnect with yourself and your purpose 
As human beings we are engaged in so many activities and there is constantly so much going on around us that we loose ourselves. You can’t even remember why you are doing what you are doing now, maybe you are afraid of change or you might be trying to please family members or friends. You need to sit back, block out all that noise and ask yourself quality questions for example:
What’s stopping me from living the life I want?
What would I really love to do with my life?
Why am I not happy?
If you listen well enough your subconscious will give you answers.
Like “duhh it’s because you are not smart enough” or “you are not talented enough”
Even if the answers sound stupid or obvious continue probing because this way you can get answers to questions that you have been asking yourself for years. It’s not an easy thing to do so many people avoid it. I discovered the secret in asking myself quality questions a long time ago and it has really helped me mentally and emotionally.

5. Fall in love with life again

At the end of the day it’s not what we get or what other people think about us that makes us happy. It’s who we are on the inside and how we live our lives, every second of it. Enough of regrets, sadness, feeling unworthy or unaccomplished. Stop worrying about how you are getting older because you cant change that. Take life one day at a time, smile, put a smile on someone’s face and take time to appreciate the things that you already have. This is not a rehearsal! You got just this ONE life, Enjoy it.

Thanks for reading, I hope you learnt a thing or two?


I’m so excited for 2018!!!
If you have more tips please feel free to share them below in the comment section. I would love to interact with you.

See you next year!!

 

First off, happy new month guys! I hope the month of July is off to a great start for you. Might I add that it’s my birth month…whoop whoop!

Today I will be talking about how I intentionally got my life on the path that I have always wanted.

I’m in my twenties and while growing up I had to battle with self-esteem, confidence, never thinking of myself first and always thinking I wasn’t good enough for the number one spot either at school or outside school. I was practically averaging (not sure there’s a word like that) my way through life. But you get my point, right?

I am a Christian and from a very reserved home, and I appreciate my upbringing because the values it instilled in me have gone a long way in making me who I am today. However this kind of upbringing has a way of boxing up your mind as to what kind of job is suitable for you, what career paths are acceptable, what kind of activities you can be involved in, and all of that. It never really gives you room to be imaginative, consider possibilities outside the box and be a free spirit. It is up to you to find a way to strike a balance so that at the end of the day you have lived a purposeful and happy (very important) life.

“You owe it to yourself to live, I mean truly live and to go after the life you have always wanted. Let nobody tell you otherwise” – WB

Prior to starting my blog, I had a normal life, normal goals, normal everything but I have realised that normal just won’t cut it for me.

Almost all my life I have been unsatisfied with who I was because I always felt I could do or be more. Although, the feeling has been more intense these past two years. Now that I think about it, I feel I was a bit too hard on myself.

I wanted to do so many things but there were so many restrictions both in my mind and in reality, like what would people say, is it the right thing to do, will my parents support me? bla bla bla…. I was even scared of being laughed at. Lol

I saw potentials in myself that nobody else saw and the only way to show them was to first get out of my own way and be unapologetically myself.

Every morning I would wake up and say “I’m changing my life” but would always find one reason or the other to hang on to the life I was so unsatisfied with (You can’t blame me though, it was the only life I ever knew). I thought I could merge the life I had with the one I wanted but boy was I wrong! I eventually realised that this move was going to cost me some of the things I actually liked about my normal life because growth and comfort can’t work together. So sometime in November 2016 I decided to embark on a deliberate physical, emotional and mental separation from the life I once knew. I lost friends, It was hard and scary but absolutely necessary. People didn’t understand but then again they didn’t need to.

“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind”

Fast forward to July 2017 I’m still healing, evolving but loving every inch of my being. I wake up more energised, I am more enthusiastic about life, making new friends, my mind is open to opportunities all around me, I feel like there is nothing I can’t do and I even started my own blog.

Now I’m all about a life of self-expression and happiness, not building my life around people’s thoughts or opinions.

I have a passion for writing, sharing lessons I have learnt as well as personal victories. I also love to assist others with the knowledge I have and help them overcome similar struggles through my experiences and that is exactly what I am going to do.

I am on a journey, deliberately and intentionally changing my life and this blog is a huge part of that process.

“Don’t be too scared of disappointing other people that you end up disappointing yourself”- WB

Thanks for taking time out to read.

Have you ever felt caged, held down by opinions or judgements of people or generally unsatisfied with the situation of things around you? Have you ever felt the need to break out of stereotypical beliefs about you? What did you do? and how did you go about it?

Let me know your thoughts.

Please leave a comment.